“Are those special ice cream treats?” my five year old asks as we unload the groceries.
That’s a typical question around my house. We joke that Izzy (my oldest) will have an over-inflated sense of self-confidence or self-centeredness because everything she eats is special.
Starting as soon as she could talk, we coached Izzy to ask for special milk (e.g. hypoallergenic baby formula) instead of just milk. We were imagining all kinds of scenarios: What if she is with family or friends and asks for milk and they forget about her milk allergy, or they confuse it with her other five food allergies? At the beginning of our food allergy journey with her, Izzy was drinking her hypoallergenic formula for nutritional value at her allergist’s insistence, and she sometimes drank coconut milk or rice milk. So, it was just easier to teach a toddler to ask for special milk, than to expect her to give a litany of alternative products she was allowed to drink. For some items, like sunflower seed butter (Sunbutter is our favorite brand), it was not an issue, because we taught her to always ask for Sunbutter and NOT peanut butter. For most things though, we needed a broader description, and the word “special” fit the bill.
We started calling a lot of her food special because we wanted her to know that she couldn’t just eat any old thing. It seemed like the best solution, instead of having to teach her all kinds of food product names (when let’s be honest, toddler speak can be hard enough to understand, as it is!). We also wanted her to learn this phrasing so that if she was with other people – say at a friend’s house for a play date – her requests would remind them to check on what she can eat. We found that at first, even immediate family like grandparents still got confused about what she could and couldn’t eat.
Now that we have two daughters with food allergies, it can get even more confusing for friends and family, because one daughter has allergies to several things that the other doesn’t. Oy! Maybe if one daughter asks for special ice cream cones and the other doesn’t, it will be a help to everyone to remember what’s what. Or so we hope. 🙂
I’m sure there have been people observing us at gatherings or events, wondering why the heck our oldest thinks she’s so darn special. They must wonder how such a young girl grew such a big ego! {Well, we joke, but it is actually a concern. 🙂 } In reality, describing food as “special” is our attempt at helping our daughter protect herself and navigate her dietary restrictions, while hopefully putting a more positive light on it. We just hate to always put everything in negative terms as to what she can’t eat. Hopefully, being the one eating special foods won’t make her feel like the odd one out as she gets older.
If you have had young children diagnosed with food allergies, how have you taught them to distinguish or describe the foods they can or can’t eat? If you have older kids dealing with food allergies, does their “special” diet make them feel like the odd one out?
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